Some of you have asked, “What is so important about your site being Chuck Norris Approved?”  

I say, “Wah wah wah SHUT UP!”  Just take a look at the facts—–>

If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars. Chuck Norris has more money than you.

 

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

 

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

When the boogeyman goes to sleep each night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s push the Earth Down.

 

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

 

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

 

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.

 

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

 

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one

 

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

 

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

 

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

 

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

 

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

 

This is a very special episode of will it blend–featuring….  CHUCK NORRIS!